Always Crazy, Always Fun, Always Love

Ray Romano once compared life with twins to living in a frat house. As he put it, "no one sleeps, there is a lot of noise and a lot of throwing up." I find this very true with 4 young children, including twins. However, though things are always crazy, we always try to have fun and, most certainly, always love each other.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Don't call me Intolerant (Just because I disagree!)

Okay, this is sure to be the most controversial post I ever do, but it is something that has bothered me for sometime. I was hesitant to post it for fear of offending others or ruffling feathers, but I also realize it is my blog and my opinion. On one hand, I am very opinionated, but I often fear sharing my opinions so I usually just keep them to myself. Everyone is, of course, welcome to disagree. That is part of what makes this country beautiful- is that we are aloud to have different opinions.

I do not believe it is okay to practice homosexuality. I believe it is deeply wrong. According to the world today, I am intolerant because I don't think it is okay to live this "alternative lifestyle." I am entitled to this opinion and that alone does not make me intolerant. We are aloud to disagree without being intolerant. defines intolerance as "...unwillingness or refusal to tolerate or respect contrary opinions or beliefs, persons of different races or backgrounds, etc." Simply disagreeing is not intolerance. Intolerance is when you mistreat, or shun people for what they believe- or, like the definition above says, disrespect their opinion.

Before I ramble any farther, let me state my beliefs on homosexuality so I am clear.

1) I believe it is wrong to have sexual relations before marriage- regardless of sexual orientation. If I don't think it is okay to have sex before marriage, why would I believe it is okay just because the partners are the same sex?

2) I do not think that homosexuals should have a right to marry. I believe God intended marriage to be between a man and a women for several intended purposes. (See The Family Proclamation Here) It is my responsibility to teach the values I believe to my children. Therefore, I have a right to vote on how marriage should be defined. Of course, those who are homosexual also have a right to vote on this as well. That is the beauty of being an American- we can all stand up for our beliefs, no matter what they are.

3) I believe that some become homosexual by choice. I also acknowledge it is quite likely that some are born with homosexual tendencies. I do no believe that makes it okay to practice homosexuality. This may not be exactly the same thing, but just as an example: People are sometimes born with tendencies toward alcoholism or other behaviors. That doesn't make it okay to drink yourself to oblivion or to engage in harmful behaviors just because you were born that way.

4) So, should homosexuals then just deny their feelings and marry heterosexually? Heck no! This will just cause unhappiness and inevitable heartbreak down the road. I suppose this could mean that someone who is truly homosexual, but believed the way I do and wants to return to Heavenly Father may have to go through life without a sexual partner. I could not imagine how hard this would be. But, for someone determined to do the will of God, it would be possible with His help. And, to those who prevail, they would be rewarded in Heaven in ways we can never imagine. If we have an eternal perspective, we will see that Earthly pleasures really shouldn't matter, because our Eternity is much longer than the blip in time we are here on Earth. We are all given struggles and challenges to deal with here on Earth. For a homosexual, this is theirs. Lord knows I have my own lifelong challenges. Basically, what I am saying is- it is not a sin to be a homosexual- it is a sin to practice it.

I am not old fashioned or intolerant because I do not think it is okay to practice "alternative lifestyles." I am sick of the modern world telling me I am close minded.

I am entitled to my opinion.

Someone who is intolerant would be someone who shunned a homosexual, or wouldn't deal with them because they chose to live that lifestyle. Someone who would ridicule them and treat them badly. It is important for everyone to understand that homosexuals are normal people and deserve to live their lives as they wish, just as we want to live our lives as we wish. There is no reason to not be friends/work with/ love someone who is homosexual. Aaron has a few friends who live this way (from the internet VW group he hangs with) and they are wonderful, kind, thoughtful people who are always welcome in my home. For example- just as I would not judge and would still welcome someone who chose to have sex before marriage (see reason 1), I am the same with homosexuals. They have a right to live how they want without being judged. I am simply allowed to have my own beliefs. Despite what I believe, it would not be okay for me to go telling them that I think they are wrong, that they should stop, and that they are bad people (because the really are NOT). Just like others shouldn't tell any of us what to believe. Heavenly Father loves us all and so expects us to love everyone as well.

There are certainly a lot of people who don't agree with our religion. They are not intolerant- just feel differently. Those who are intolerant are those who won't associate with "Mormons" or try to tear them down.

Anyway, I hope this made sense. I just felt the need to write about it and express my thoughts. You are welcome to disagree and I won't think any different of you, just as I hope any one reading this will not feel differently about me if you disagree. I welcome any thoughts anyone wants to give.


Kelly said...

I think that was well stated! It was very well said, as a matter of fact, and I do agree with it all- we have had to discuss this matter with our children already, and that has proven challenging, but it is important. I love the Procalmation to the World and that you linked it- so it becomes the standard by which we live. I have some homosexuals I know in my life right now and I hope they know that I love them no matter thier choice, and let's make that clear, that it is their CHOICE- we are all given agency, and what we choose is up to us. Not to say there aren't consequences for our choices, but I will not be one casting stones, because I too make choices daily that sometimes have consequeneces too. Did I just ramble?! Sorry. That was great, I hope you didn't just have a bad experience- but either way, well said.

Autumn said...

I feel the exact same way. Its so interesting to me how ideas like this change over time. I believe that if you took the majority of "homosexuals" and put them back in time 100 years ago, the thought to look at another of the same sex wouldn't cross their mind. WHY? Because its one of Satan's tools. Seriously. He's deceiving people. Yes, I believe there are a small percentage of people who have internal struggles in that regard, but a teeny tiny bit of the "homo" population.

It too drives me insane that I could probably be called a homo-phob because I disagree with something? Lets get it straight. I disagree-I'm not afraid. Big difference. And if they want to use the term "phob" so much, I think they could be called "phob phobs" Seriously-I think that a large portion of that popluation of people have intentionally set themselves so far apart that any look that might possibly be able to be interpreted makes an outsider a phob.

Last weekend when we were eating out in an all but gay bar I got all kinds of scowls and dirty looks-all the while nicely giving these people smiles. I felt like they assumed since I was with a man I must be a homophob. No. I'm not a PHOB of any group of people-I just disagree. (Then again, they may have been jealous of my hot date.)

Mom Janet said...

RIGHT ON, Amanda. I am with you 100% on this one. The ones who are "intolerant" are the very ones who say that Christians are intolerant because we believe that the ONLY WAY to eternal life is through truly knowing, believing and following Jesus Christ, the one and only Son of God. The intolerance comes into play when we, as Christians, are forced to accept and condone what we know is Biblically wrong - not just morally wrong or societially wrong, since those are only determined by human beings. God determines what is a sin - not man, and the practice of homosexuality is a SIN anyway you color it. Our society has taken God out of everything that our country was founded upon - and we, as Christians, have let it happen by being unwilling to "rock the boat" so to speak. No longer are parents allowed to correct their children physically, no longer are teachers allowed to command respect and discipline their students, no longer are American Citizens allowed to say, do, or believe anything that is contrary to "popular opinion and newscaster reporting" - we are all afraid to stand up and say ENOUGH ALREADY.

This election is CRITICAL to our country - there are thousands who are truly afraid of what the outcome will bring. Not just the general "pick your political candidate and vote" and a feeling of "going with the lesser of two evils" - but a very deep fear of where this country is headed should we put Barak Hussein Obama into office - WAKE UP PEOPLE, he does not honor, respect, love, revere, or tolerate anything that is AMERICA founded on GOD - his country is founded on Alla and he will be sure to eliminate everthing that we truly know as America and democracy as quickly and as "politically correct" as he can. Our nation is under attack from the inside and we are smiling and letting it happen by not standing up and VOTING FOR OUR TRUE AND HONEST CHRISTIAN BELIEFS.

Whew - where did all that come from?? I guess you touched a nerve and like you, it is only my opinion. If someone is offended, that is their right and not my problem. I am entitled to my opinion just as they are entitled to theirs - just don't tell me I have to believe or condone what their opinions are.

SO - with all that said.... HAVE A NICE DAY!!!

Katie said...

I've been debating whether or not to comment. I don't want to loose any friends. But I will probably be your only commenter with opposing views.

Homosexuality is not something I understand...because I do not struggle with it. I of course don't think the Lord condones it. I know that the only way to eternal life is through eternal marriage between a man and a woman.

But I struggle with taking away someone's legal right to choose who they marry. All men should be free to choose. All men should have the same right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I of course believe marriage between man and woman is the only marriage ordained of God, but that doesn't mean others cannot choose otherwise. Like you mentioned premarital sex...I don't believe it's right, but others have the right to make their own mistakes.

I think it's still possible to raise a righteous family in a world that allows gay marriages. Just because it's legal... because homosexuals are given this basic human right... doesn't mean I have to choose to live that way, nor teach my kids to live that way.

I actually have had an internal struggle with this issue. Maybe you hit the nail on the head... I don't like to be labeled intolerant. I think I am far from intolerant. Maybe that's why I struggle.

I, of course, have no problems with your view point. Sometimes I wish I felt more like you... It would probably make it easier to get through life as a Christian. I have such a hard time with feeling ok about taking away human rights because of a person's sexual preference.

Ultimately, I am committed to the Gospel and fully sustain the prophets. If they ask us not to support Gay marriage, I do not support gay marriage. I recognize that their counsel comes from God and, while I cannot see the whole picture, He obviously can.

Amanda B. said...

Just a comment about Katie's comment. You don't need to worry about losing friends. That was part of my point, is being able to respect other opinions. I appreciate your words- very interesting! :) If we all agreed- this world would be boring!

STUFFellaneous said...

I'm with you, Amanda!